Skip to main content

Nose pressed to the glass

I have often found myself to be on the outside of situations looking in...wishing to be a part of the "in" group.  I wasn't a cheerleader, not popular, wasn't the one with the big personality and the ability to draw people to me.  Even though I've performed as a musician, taught as a teacher and given speeches throughout my life, my personality still tended to hold me back.  I was the quiet one, hugging the wall or the corner of the couch.  If I had a stage or microphone, I was usually okay, but as soon as I stepped offstage, my nerves and fears would overtake me. It was what I knew and where I was most comfortable--yet I often longed to be the one in the middle of the action. I  have struggled in my life to overcome my natural tendency to blend in with the wallpaper and to learn instead, to step forward, speak up, introduce myself and stand out in the crowd.  I still really stink at that ability, but I'm learning...slowly.

But this post isn't about me feeling sorry for myself or wishing things had been different for me.  It's really about learning to accept who I am.  You see, I've spent far too much of my life wishing to be that cheerleader, popular person, or the one everyone wanted to follow. I've spent far too much time with my nose pressed on the glass, looking in and wishing for a different life, or personality.  The only thing that resulted from pressing my nose on the glass was a smeared nose print on the window! I forgot to stop and thank God for making me the way he did.  I overlooked the fact that God had uniquely outfitted me with abilities, talents and drives that he needed to accomplish the tasks in this life that he set out for me.

"For we are His creation, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared ahead of time so that we should walk in them." Ephesians 2:10

 Now in my lifetime, I have truly come across some people who have never experienced pressing their nose on the glass and looking in.  As a matter of fact, they are likely the people who will tell you how to overcome your shyness or inability to move forward, but from my experience, they also often forget to remind you that God is the one who helps you un-stick your nose from that glass, open the door and walk inside.

"He who calls you is faithful, who also will do it." 1 Thessalonians 5:24

"I am sure of this, that He who started a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6

And I'm not talking about building up your self-confidence either.  Self-confidence is overrated because it keeps our eyes on ourselves, instead of on Christ. We tend to think that if we just have enough self-confidence, we can do anything.  No we can't.  Not really--no matter how much we believe in ourselves--but we can do the things God needs for us to do-- if we believe in Him!

I'm learning to embrace my dreams and hold them up for God to see and let him re-shape into His dreams.  I'm learning to accept my true gifts and talents and that it is okay to acknowledge I have them, but that none of it is for my glory, but His! And I'm learning that my personality is the way it is because He is working through me and He is using me as he wills.

And that is good.  And right.  And a perfect way to use a very imperfect human being.

Comments

  1. teacher-momFebruary 4, 2017 at 4:55 PM

    Amen on the self confidence bit, Carrie. Though, I am guilty of believing that lie for a very long time. You a precious sister in Christ. Good scriptures to remind us we are created by Him for Him to glorify Him. Great piece!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Circle of Friends

Yesterday, a friend of mine posted that his mother had passed on.  I was sad for him. I had known his mother as she and his dad had both given me many rides to church during high school.  She was one of the nicest people I had known.  I remembered she worried a lot about him and being in the thralls of being a teenage boy, he often dismissed her concerns. Both of his parents are now with the Lord and while I know he rejoices at that thought, I too, know that kind of loss.   Last week another friend posted that her mother had passed on.  Again, sadness came over me, but I was glad I had known her mother, even if only for a short while. What these two friends had in common is that they were part of a larger circle of friends that I grew up with at church.  Many of the friends in this circle I have known since elementary school. Some I met in Jr. High and some high school. Some of us attended the same schools together, but most of us did not.  Yet, we w...
Post a Comment
Read more

A New Journey, Part 1

This is  a lengthy post and I will be posting this in more than one part.  I have hesitated to share this part of my life--so publicly--after all, criticism is the last thing I want--but this has been laid on my heart.  I'm not where I need to be, but I'm getting there.  It is indeed a journey and I'm continuing to learn not only about what I can and can't do, but what God is teaching me in this process.  My story is not that remarkable, but I hope that one day I'll be able to share with you the remarkable work that God has lead me through.  In the meantime, here goes... Thirty years.  It was a milestone for both of us.  We have weathered great storms and experienced the beauty that often follows after the storm.  And in thirty years of marriage, my husband has never once said to me, "You could really stand to lose some weight."  He could have and he would have been right, but instead, he chose to quietly support my every effort to s...
Post a Comment
Read more

Broken, but Whole

So many of us in this world are broken in some ways.  Some of us are very broken--as  a matter of fact, I would say we are more than just broken--we are shattered.  Life has been hard on us and we have weathered some really tough times.  Some of us are a little broken, with a chip here or there, but not much more than that.  After all, our lives have been pretty good to us.  Some of us are not shattered, but we are more than just chipped.  Life has been hard, but not unbearable.  We have experienced heartache, yet have still come out of it, more damaged, but still intact.  Cracked, chipped, broken and shattered. What is God supposed to do with all of those pieces?  Can he really put us back together again?  If he does, are we ever really the same?  I guess that depends on what you believe God can really do.  Do you really believe he can make all things new or do you think you will just end up looking like the cup in the ...
Post a Comment
Read more