Skip to main content

Nose pressed to the glass

I have often found myself to be on the outside of situations looking in...wishing to be a part of the "in" group.  I wasn't a cheerleader, not popular, wasn't the one with the big personality and the ability to draw people to me.  Even though I've performed as a musician, taught as a teacher and given speeches throughout my life, my personality still tended to hold me back.  I was the quiet one, hugging the wall or the corner of the couch.  If I had a stage or microphone, I was usually okay, but as soon as I stepped offstage, my nerves and fears would overtake me. It was what I knew and where I was most comfortable--yet I often longed to be the one in the middle of the action. I  have struggled in my life to overcome my natural tendency to blend in with the wallpaper and to learn instead, to step forward, speak up, introduce myself and stand out in the crowd.  I still really stink at that ability, but I'm learning...slowly.

But this post isn't about me feeling sorry for myself or wishing things had been different for me.  It's really about learning to accept who I am.  You see, I've spent far too much of my life wishing to be that cheerleader, popular person, or the one everyone wanted to follow. I've spent far too much time with my nose pressed on the glass, looking in and wishing for a different life, or personality.  The only thing that resulted from pressing my nose on the glass was a smeared nose print on the window! I forgot to stop and thank God for making me the way he did.  I overlooked the fact that God had uniquely outfitted me with abilities, talents and drives that he needed to accomplish the tasks in this life that he set out for me.

"For we are His creation, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared ahead of time so that we should walk in them." Ephesians 2:10

 Now in my lifetime, I have truly come across some people who have never experienced pressing their nose on the glass and looking in.  As a matter of fact, they are likely the people who will tell you how to overcome your shyness or inability to move forward, but from my experience, they also often forget to remind you that God is the one who helps you un-stick your nose from that glass, open the door and walk inside.

"He who calls you is faithful, who also will do it." 1 Thessalonians 5:24

"I am sure of this, that He who started a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6

And I'm not talking about building up your self-confidence either.  Self-confidence is overrated because it keeps our eyes on ourselves, instead of on Christ. We tend to think that if we just have enough self-confidence, we can do anything.  No we can't.  Not really--no matter how much we believe in ourselves--but we can do the things God needs for us to do-- if we believe in Him!

I'm learning to embrace my dreams and hold them up for God to see and let him re-shape into His dreams.  I'm learning to accept my true gifts and talents and that it is okay to acknowledge I have them, but that none of it is for my glory, but His! And I'm learning that my personality is the way it is because He is working through me and He is using me as he wills.

And that is good.  And right.  And a perfect way to use a very imperfect human being.

Comments

  1. teacher-momFebruary 4, 2017 at 4:55 PM

    Amen on the self confidence bit, Carrie. Though, I am guilty of believing that lie for a very long time. You a precious sister in Christ. Good scriptures to remind us we are created by Him for Him to glorify Him. Great piece!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

And yet...

I tend to avoid political rhetoric on any social media forum, but I am compelled to write a few brief thoughts and I hope you will really listen. As a life-long American, I grew up saluting the American flag, singing the National Anthem with pride and held dear in my heart all things patriotic and noble. I was taught to respect the office of President, regardless of who held the office. I was taught that voting was not only my civic duty, but that giving up my right to vote was paramount to spitting on the graves of the soldiers who had died to preserve my right to vote, my right to speak freely, and my right to worship as I chose. Honestly, not much of that has changed in my heart, but like many of you, my heart is wearied this season. Hopelessness? Yes. Fear? Yes. Anxiety over the future of our country? Yes. Honestly, regardless of which side of the political fence you fall on, these thoughts seem to be a common theme. Fear is the biggest one I see storming most of the ...
2 comments
Read more

Throwing a Tantrum

You might be assuming by the title of this blog that I will be talking about 2 and 3 years old kids, but I'm not.  I'm talking about me.  Yep. You got that right.  Me.  I threw a pretty good tantrum a couple of weeks ago.  I was trying to pack up to leave for a weekend away and had gone to the laundry room to throw in a quick load of clothes I needed for the trip.  When I opened the washer, it was full of clothes.  I opened the dryer, which was also full of clothes. I then looked at the laundry basket and someone had taken MY clothes out of the dryer and thrown them in the laundry basket without me knowing it.  The clothes had not only been sitting there wadded up in the basket, but our lovely cat had decided that a basket full of clean clothes was the perfect place to nap.  While this is not the first time for this kind of incident in our home, I decided that day that it was to be the last time it would ever happen.  I started yelling...
Post a Comment
Read more

Unexpected blessings

I was inspired! All of the kids and their dates were going to be home Sunday. It's been a long summer and we haven't had too many family dinners where everyone was in attendance, so I decided to go all out. I set about on Saturday to prepare the meal for Sunday. I cooked up potatoes for my potato casserole, made dessert, set the table and made it pretty. I did all of the work I could so that Sunday's meal would come together quickly when we got home from church. I made sure the table was properly set and looked nice, as well getting the house presentable for company. We all sat down to enjoy that lovely meal and the conversation and laughter that is a common theme for our family dinners. It was nice. It was homey. It was comfortable. But then.... As soon as dessert was over, off everyone went in their own direction. The younger boys headed out to the kitchen to get the dishes done and clean it up, my husband headed off to work with a ministry he is involved in, m...
Post a Comment
Read more