I know, I know....I said I would post last week and it never happened. This thing called "life" got in the way. I could tell you that I've been pondering most of this time, and that is actually true. This is a hard topic in many ways and I confess I don't have all of the answers. What I can share with you is my own journey into fear and share with you how God has carried me through times of fear. Speaking of which, my husband reminded me that when I was sharing with you the camping story, I left out the part about the howling coyotes I heard at night. As we talked about those early camping trips, we both laughed about how scared I was in the beginning and how many nights I was sure that the bears and coyotes were in cahoots to come and eat me!
Right now, I could easily name off for you several close friends and family who are walking through some very trying times in their lives. Some are dealing with cancer or watching a loved one with cancer go through treatment. Some are dealing with fear of cancer or some other illness. Some are dealing with loneliness. Some are dealing with big changes in their lives. Some are dealing with aging parents. Some are dealing with the heartache of children who aren't walking with the Lord. All of those issues bring fear into their lives in some form. We fear the unknown, yet sometimes knowing also invokes fear. Looking back over my own life, I'm grateful that many times I didn't know what was before me. If I had known what I was going to have to go through, I think my fear may have been magnified even more.
The first time I was pregnant and I was facing childbirth, I had GREAT fear. I knew it was going to be painful and I imagined all of the other indignities that bearing a child brings with it. It made me cringe and I wondered if there was a way out of this childbirth thing. Being pregnant wasn't so bad, but childbirth? No thank you! When the day arrived, I remember thinking on the way to the hospital that this was it. There was no way out. I had to endure this and I had to go through the pain in order to gain a baby. I tried to comfort myself by remembering that women had been having babies for thousands of years and had survived, so surely I could get through this too? Nothing about this birth was textbook and I wondered why I had bothered attending the childbirth classes. In the end, though, I had a beautiful baby girl. Of course, now that I had this baby, I had a new boatload of fears to rifle through. The "what-ifs" kept me awake at night. I imagined every horrible thing that could happen to her and imagined even more when I watched the news. After three months of very little sleep-partly because the baby wasn't sleeping and partly because I was worried--sleep finally found me because I was so exhausted. Somewhere in all of those hours of anxiety that filled my mind, I realized that my dread, my fear, and my worry, could not stop anything from happening. If something terrible were to happen, I could not stop it. It was then that I realized that there was only one who could stop anything. Whether real or imagined, this fear was not from the Lord.
When I was in high school, I also had great fear. My dad worked nights many times and that left my mom and I home alone. We had a few scary incidences with people coming up on our porch at night and trying to peer in the windows. My heart was beating so fast during those times that I was sure a heart attack was imminent. It was then that I discovered Isaiah 41:10 and memorized it. It says,
I can't tell you how many times I have recited this verse and it has given me comfort. Yes, in many instances, my fear was conquered immediately. Sometimes though, it has been a process where I have had to keep reciting this verse and keep asking God to take away my fear, yet He has always come through for me. You see, fear is from the enemy. He knows the weak spots in our lives. He know what we fear and he is delighted to use that against us. From the song "Our Great God", there is a verse that sticks with me:
Right now, I could easily name off for you several close friends and family who are walking through some very trying times in their lives. Some are dealing with cancer or watching a loved one with cancer go through treatment. Some are dealing with fear of cancer or some other illness. Some are dealing with loneliness. Some are dealing with big changes in their lives. Some are dealing with aging parents. Some are dealing with the heartache of children who aren't walking with the Lord. All of those issues bring fear into their lives in some form. We fear the unknown, yet sometimes knowing also invokes fear. Looking back over my own life, I'm grateful that many times I didn't know what was before me. If I had known what I was going to have to go through, I think my fear may have been magnified even more.
The first time I was pregnant and I was facing childbirth, I had GREAT fear. I knew it was going to be painful and I imagined all of the other indignities that bearing a child brings with it. It made me cringe and I wondered if there was a way out of this childbirth thing. Being pregnant wasn't so bad, but childbirth? No thank you! When the day arrived, I remember thinking on the way to the hospital that this was it. There was no way out. I had to endure this and I had to go through the pain in order to gain a baby. I tried to comfort myself by remembering that women had been having babies for thousands of years and had survived, so surely I could get through this too? Nothing about this birth was textbook and I wondered why I had bothered attending the childbirth classes. In the end, though, I had a beautiful baby girl. Of course, now that I had this baby, I had a new boatload of fears to rifle through. The "what-ifs" kept me awake at night. I imagined every horrible thing that could happen to her and imagined even more when I watched the news. After three months of very little sleep-partly because the baby wasn't sleeping and partly because I was worried--sleep finally found me because I was so exhausted. Somewhere in all of those hours of anxiety that filled my mind, I realized that my dread, my fear, and my worry, could not stop anything from happening. If something terrible were to happen, I could not stop it. It was then that I realized that there was only one who could stop anything. Whether real or imagined, this fear was not from the Lord.
When I was in high school, I also had great fear. My dad worked nights many times and that left my mom and I home alone. We had a few scary incidences with people coming up on our porch at night and trying to peer in the windows. My heart was beating so fast during those times that I was sure a heart attack was imminent. It was then that I discovered Isaiah 41:10 and memorized it. It says,
"Do not fear, for I am with you.
Do not be afraid, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you; I will help you
I will hold onto you with my righteous right hand."
Lord, we are weak and frail, helpless in the storm
Surround us with your angels, hold us in your arms!
Our cold and ruthless enemy, his pleasure is our harm!
Rise up, O Lord, and he will flee before our Sovereign God!
Letting the enemy have control over our fear, anxiety, worry, concern or whatever you want to call it, is called letting the enemy have a stronghold on our life. I don't know about you, but I don't have time for that! Fear stops me from doing what God needs me to do. Anxiety doesn't solve my problems and worry doesn't fix what is wrong. No---I don't have it all under control. I have to take my fears to God each time. What I do know is that He is the only one who is really in control. He knows what will happen and He knows whether or not I'm going to be hurt or have to endure heartache. Sometimes I am spared that pain--sometimes I am not. It doesn't matter though, because I know overwhelmingly that my God is for me and not against me! He will walk with me through my pain! He will walk with me in my joy! He is love and is perfect in his love for all of us. Take heart my friends! There is no need for fear when God is walking by your side.
"There is no fear in love; instead, perfect love drives out fear, because fear involves punishment. So the one who fears has not reached perfection in love. We love because he first loved us."
1 John 4:18, 19 (HCSB)
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