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Ponderings...

Today is an interesting day.  One year ago today, David went in to have surgery to repair a hernia.  Though the surgery was not a huge deal, his blood pressure was discovered to be at an unsafe level.  The surgery was actually supposed to happen in December, but because of the blood pressure issue, the surgery was delayed until it could be lowered to a safe level.  The news was unexpected for us both.  Outside of some minor injuries and illnesses, David has not been one to have health issues.  We both scratched our heads, wondering what could have brought on this sudden rise in his pressure.  Though his level was brought down to a safe level for surgery, it was still higher than what it needed to be.  This caused some concern for us as he headed into surgery that morning, one year ago.

All went well with the procedure and we returned home, loaded with pain medication, ice and whatever other essentials he would need while recovering.  A friend of mine, who is a nurse, checked on us throughout the day.  She seemed pleased with his progress and assured me that all would be well with him.  I remember thinking that I appreciated her texts throughout the day.  Towards evening, she text-ed me again and asked how David was doing.  I replied and then she sent me a text that said, "Please pray for Terry.  He's been in a motorcycle accident.  That's all I know."  I sent a message back saying that I was praying and to let me know when she knew more.  She never replied back.  I told  my family about Terry's motorcycle accident and we all said a prayer for him. At about 11 that night, I got a call from another friend who relayed to me the news that Terry was gone.  Shock.  Disbelief.  Why?  How?

I thought about my friend who had checked on me all day long.  Here she had been offering comfort to me to ease my anxiety over my husband, and I now needed to offer her my comfort.  I had just talked with Terry two nights before, as I had picked up my son from a bible study held at their house.  Terry had talked with me for about 30 minutes that night.  He told me to take care of David and make sure he took his blood pressure medication.  He reassured me that his wife had taken medication for years and that it was going to be alright.  We talked about my kids and he told me how much he thought of them.  It was a pleasant conversation and ended with...."Take care of David!  We men need our wives to take care of us!"  I laughed, thinking how often Karen and I had come to the same conclusion ourselves.  I was never going to have a conversation like that with him again.  My mind raced to thinking about the unbearable pain Karen was now in.  Oh to have a remedy for her!  I had none.  Even my words, I knew, could not offer her what she longed for.

I have watched my friend walk this lonely valley over the past year.  She has done so with grace, joy, thankfulness and yes, sadness too.   She is a living testimony to how God walks with you through your life, regardless of your circumstances.  That, my friends, is the power of the living Lord in her life.

So today, exactly one year later, I now find myself facing a different kind of loss.  Yesterday we took our oldest son to college.  It's such a mixed bag of emotions.  I feel great joy in knowing that God has really put all of the pieces into place, yet as a mother, I'm going to miss his presence.  I'm going to miss his early morning hugs, having coffee with him, and just grabbing those sweet moments to sit and talk about life.  He's been an amazing young man to watch grow and transform before my very eyes, from the child that threw raging tantrums over most everything, to a young man who is willing to do what it takes to follow the Lord.  I walked into his bedroom this morning, knowing that he would return in a few short weeks, yet knowing at the same time, that the young man returning will not be the same young man who left.

So much can happen in a year.  So much can change. Sometimes it is unexpected and sometimes it is expected.  You can start down a certain path, thinking you are heading in one direction, only to find that the road you are on has more twists and turns than you imagined.  Still, though, knowing that God is aware of the unknowns, give me peace and gives me comfort.  How about you?

Comments

  1. Oh, Carrie! What a testimony to the way God cares for us so deeply while we're caring for others. May we be alert always as to how very fragile our lives are and to use them to capacity - as it seems your friend was doing, even while.......The Lord took her treasure home.
    Love your writing! )

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