Yesterday, a friend of mine posted that his mother had passed on. I was sad for him. I had known his mother as she and his dad had both given me many rides to church during high school. She was one of the nicest people I had known. I remembered she worried a lot about him and being in the thralls of being a teenage boy, he often dismissed her concerns. Both of his parents are now with the Lord and while I know he rejoices at that thought, I too, know that kind of loss. Last week another friend posted that her mother had passed on. Again, sadness came over me, but I was glad I had known her mother, even if only for a short while.
What these two friends had in common is that they were part of a larger circle of friends that I grew up with at church. Many of the friends in this circle I have known since elementary school. Some I met in Jr. High and some high school. Some of us attended the same schools together, but most of us did not. Yet, we were bonded. Church was something we looked forward to--not because of the great rousing sermons (which I know we all tried to pay attention to) but because we got to be with each other. There was youth choir, afterglows on Sunday nights, holiday parties, bible studies and of course the occasional prank! If there was a reason to be at church, we were there. If there wasn't a good reason to be at church, we created a reason!
Yet, within the circle, there were other smaller circles of friends. I know that the picture I've painted is one of an idealistic nature, but I'm painfully aware that some of these friends didn't feel the same camaraderie that I did. Instead they felt left out, or on the fringe. They were there, but not always included in all of the fun and games. I too, spent some time on that fringe. What is interesting though, is to come back all of these years later and see what these friends still have in common. Social media has helped us all reconnect in some manner, and while we are not the same group of kids that used to hang out together and watch trees grow in the park, (a private joke) we all have something else in common. I'll get to that a bit later.
It's been fun to see pictures of these friends, see their spouses, their children, and in some cases, grandchildren. It's been good to find out what they are doing in their lives, to celebrate with them and mourn with them. We have all separated, for the most part, and gone on with our lives. A few of us have paths that have crossed, but most of us don't see each other in person anymore. Some of us dated each other, but most of us ended up marrying other people outside of the circle. Some of us have experienced the pain of divorce and the joy of remarriage. Some of us have never married. Some have had many children and some have had no children. I was one of the first to experience the loss of a parent. Another lost his father close to the time my father passed. Another lost both of his brothers and yet another lost both of her parents within just a few short years of each other. As the years have passed by ( more quickly now than they did then), most of us have experienced the loss of someone close to us in death. One of us is no longer with us, but has been with the Lord for a few years. Of all of the friends in this circle, she might have possibly had one of the purest hearts I've ever known.
It occurred to me yesterday, when I read the news of my friend's mother passing, that we are all much older now. We are all facing the loss of our parents. Some of us have already lost both of our parents and some of us still have at least one living. It's a different time to think about, isn't it? It's amazing to think that we are now the age that our parents were when they were shuttling us back and forth to choir practice, feeding us, or opening their homes to us coming in and invading their space and their pantry! We affectionately called a few of these parents "Ma" or "Pa" and for those parents that didn't have a cute nickname, we knew they were keeping a careful eye on us. We had a crazy youth pastor with an even crazier laugh and a music minister who always had a bigger, bolder and even more lavish idea for a musical production. We spent a lot of time together. Those were pivotal years for all of us. The impact--both good and bad--is still there.
What is the thread that is common to all of us, the thread that runs through the tapestry of life? What I see is our faith in the Lord. True, for some of us that has diminished, but for most of us from that original circle of friends, I see a deep and abiding faith. I see a love for the Lord that we could only imagine as high schoolers, but life's adversity has helped us understand just a bit more of what that love is all about. I see an understanding of grace that I think most of us couldn't grasp as teens. I see fire and passion for the things that are right and great sorrow for the things that are not right. And when we share with each other, even if it is just a quick note on Facebook, I find myself smiling at those memories, smiling at those friends and thankful---oh so thankful--that I get to spend eternity with this circle of friends.
Yes, we all have different friends now, different duties and responsibilities, but I look forward to spending eternity with these friends. These were the first friends who helped me walk and grow in my faith. I hope I did the same for some of them.
One of my closest friends from this group gave me a copy of the words from the song "Friends", by Michael W. Smith and his wife Debbie (she actually wrote the lyrics). I still have the original piece of paper that it was written on and I have often remembered this song when thinking of those days spent in church. It's an oldie, but a goodie. I leave you with this video of the song. Remember, but look forward to what we still all get to share.
What these two friends had in common is that they were part of a larger circle of friends that I grew up with at church. Many of the friends in this circle I have known since elementary school. Some I met in Jr. High and some high school. Some of us attended the same schools together, but most of us did not. Yet, we were bonded. Church was something we looked forward to--not because of the great rousing sermons (which I know we all tried to pay attention to) but because we got to be with each other. There was youth choir, afterglows on Sunday nights, holiday parties, bible studies and of course the occasional prank! If there was a reason to be at church, we were there. If there wasn't a good reason to be at church, we created a reason!Yet, within the circle, there were other smaller circles of friends. I know that the picture I've painted is one of an idealistic nature, but I'm painfully aware that some of these friends didn't feel the same camaraderie that I did. Instead they felt left out, or on the fringe. They were there, but not always included in all of the fun and games. I too, spent some time on that fringe. What is interesting though, is to come back all of these years later and see what these friends still have in common. Social media has helped us all reconnect in some manner, and while we are not the same group of kids that used to hang out together and watch trees grow in the park, (a private joke) we all have something else in common. I'll get to that a bit later.
It's been fun to see pictures of these friends, see their spouses, their children, and in some cases, grandchildren. It's been good to find out what they are doing in their lives, to celebrate with them and mourn with them. We have all separated, for the most part, and gone on with our lives. A few of us have paths that have crossed, but most of us don't see each other in person anymore. Some of us dated each other, but most of us ended up marrying other people outside of the circle. Some of us have experienced the pain of divorce and the joy of remarriage. Some of us have never married. Some have had many children and some have had no children. I was one of the first to experience the loss of a parent. Another lost his father close to the time my father passed. Another lost both of his brothers and yet another lost both of her parents within just a few short years of each other. As the years have passed by ( more quickly now than they did then), most of us have experienced the loss of someone close to us in death. One of us is no longer with us, but has been with the Lord for a few years. Of all of the friends in this circle, she might have possibly had one of the purest hearts I've ever known.
It occurred to me yesterday, when I read the news of my friend's mother passing, that we are all much older now. We are all facing the loss of our parents. Some of us have already lost both of our parents and some of us still have at least one living. It's a different time to think about, isn't it? It's amazing to think that we are now the age that our parents were when they were shuttling us back and forth to choir practice, feeding us, or opening their homes to us coming in and invading their space and their pantry! We affectionately called a few of these parents "Ma" or "Pa" and for those parents that didn't have a cute nickname, we knew they were keeping a careful eye on us. We had a crazy youth pastor with an even crazier laugh and a music minister who always had a bigger, bolder and even more lavish idea for a musical production. We spent a lot of time together. Those were pivotal years for all of us. The impact--both good and bad--is still there.
Yes, we all have different friends now, different duties and responsibilities, but I look forward to spending eternity with these friends. These were the first friends who helped me walk and grow in my faith. I hope I did the same for some of them.
One of my closest friends from this group gave me a copy of the words from the song "Friends", by Michael W. Smith and his wife Debbie (she actually wrote the lyrics). I still have the original piece of paper that it was written on and I have often remembered this song when thinking of those days spent in church. It's an oldie, but a goodie. I leave you with this video of the song. Remember, but look forward to what we still all get to share.
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