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A+B+C= What?



How do you raise kids who are God-fearing individuals who will the love the Lord their whole life?


I don't know.


Disappointed in my answer? Yeah...me too.


My mom always used to say that spending time on her knees before the Lord did a whole lot more than anything else she ever tried. With a young adult in my house, a couple of teenagers and a preteen, I truly understand the wisdom of those words. Like many parents starting out with their first child, I had grandiose ideas of what my child would or wouldn't do. If I only followed the guidelines, applied the formula and threw in a bit of common sense, surely I would have a compliant, obedient child.


Wrong! No matter what book I read or method I tried, I was still netting the same result. I wasn't completely surprised. It seems to be in my family's nature to not follow the rules. Child rearing proved to give me the same challenge.


For example, I was determined that none of my children would suck their thumbs. I made sure my first child had a pacifier and I religiously made sure she had it so that she wouldn't reach for her thumb or fingers. When she cried, I "plugged" her up. She had decided very early on that she didn't care for the pacifier and preferred her thumb instead. I would gently pull the thumb out and put the pacifier back in. At some point though, the pacifier would be out and the thumb back in. One day when she was three months old, she was happily sucking on her thumb and smiling at me. I pulled her thumb out and stuck the pacifier in. She made this hideous face and slowly pushed the pacifier out with her tongue. As soon as it was out, the thumb went back in. That day, I decided that this was not a battle worth fighting. She cooed sweetly and went off to sleep, never aware that she had broken the rules--or at least, my rules.


Along came #2 who also sucked his thumb, then #3 with the same affection for his thumb. #4 was a different matter all together. He seemed quite happy with a pacifier, but instead of being tied to a thumb, we were now tied to a pacifier. We had some in every color and variety and a stash in nearly every room of the house. At around 18 months, I began to wean him off the pacifier. It seemed to be succeeding and I was thrilled that after having three children attached to their thumbs, it seemed that I was going to have this one off of the pacifier by age 2. It worked! He was completely weaned off of the pacifier. He then decided to take up a new habit--sucking his thumb.


So much for that bounty of wisdom. And what does that story have to do with raising kids who love the Lord?


Just this. Applying a method or formula to raising your kids doesn't always net the desired result. There are lots of parenting books, methods, styles and formulas out there designed to get your kids to not only obey, but to be "good Christian kids". While I applaud many of the ideas and intentions of the authors of these ideas, it has been my experience that even when one method works on one child, it doesn't necessarily work on all of them. Just when you think you've figured something out, the next one in line comes up and changes the plan.


What does work is consistency, prayer and realizing that they belong to the Lord. He has entrusted those kiddos to you only for a little while. Your job is to teach, to guide, to mentor and to prepare the warriors for the spiritual battles that they will face. (Notice I said "will" face--not "might".) Don't lose heart and don't give up. What you are doing is a great and mighty work for the Lord!


The other thing that I finally figured out after losing many battles or watching my children make mistakes, is that my job is not to raise godly children. WHAT?!?! Yes---you read that right. My job is not to raise godly children. My job is to be a godly parent. Deuteronomy 6:5 says this: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your strength." While this is the greatest command and we have a hard time just doing this, our job doesn't stop there. Verses 6-9 tell us how to be godly parents."These words that I am giving you today are to be in your heart. Repeat them to your children. Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Bind them as a sign on your hand and let them be a symbol on your forehead. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates." (HCSB, 2003)


Notice that there is no instruction or command to raise godly children. The command is for us to be godly parents. Ready for the challenge? Let's go!

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