During our first year of marriage, David thought he needed to introduce me to the wonderful world of camping! Oh joy! I didn't grow up going camping, but I had taken lots of road trips with family and we rarely stayed in motels. Most of the time, my parents would drive through the night and when they would get too tired, they would pull into a rest area or by the side of the road to catch a few hours of sleep. It wasn't "camping", but it was similar in some respects. One time in particular, we were driving through Yellowstone National Park. My dad found an area to park the car. He got his sleeping bag out of the trunk, laid it on the ground and went to sleep, right next to the car. My mother was trying to sleep in the front seat, but she was fearful that a grizzly bear would find my dad and attack him. Every few minutes she would peer out of the window to make sure he was still safe. The anxiety was driving her crazy, and after a few hours of restlessness, she finally opened the door and persuaded him to get back in the car. He didn't understand her fear. He had been sleeping quite peacefully and thought it was fine to sleep right there.
I had a taste of "roughing it", but after camping with David the first time, I found out a lot more about really "roughing it". His idea of camping and getting away from it all was completely getting away from it all---as in--camping in the wilderness. No campsite. No bathrooms. No nothing except what we brought with us. Ummm...okay. But being a young bride and wanting to please my husband, I was determined to share this experience with my husband and enjoy it. We had our little three-man tent, our cooler full of food, our lanterns, chairs and whatever else we needed. Now what to do about the bathroom....David said the bathroom was over there....in the woods? Are you kidding me? Nope. He wasn't kidding. Off I trotted into a grove of trees. This ought to be interesting.... It took a few times, but I soon became an "expert" at taking care of my business without making any messes. (You ladies know what I mean) Oh dear....this is fun? After getting settled in and making a campfire, at some point we had to go to bed. In the tent. On the ground. In the wilderness... with all of the mountain lions, coyotes, bears and whatever other critter lived out there! I settled into my sleeping bag. This wasn't too bad. I could hear the crickets chirping, the brook singing behind us....I drifted off to sleep. I don't know how long I slept, but it wasn't too long. I started hearing things hitting the tent. I thought I heard animals walking around. I was pretty sure a bear was stalking us and just trying to figure out how to rip the tent open and eat us! I was awake most of the night, hearing this and that, imagining the worst, fearing what I couldn't see and wondering why I had ever agreed to follow this man into the wilderness for what he called a vacation! David, on the other hand, was sleeping soundly. This was "the life" for him.
Needless to say, I did manage to sleep a bit here and there, but I was never so glad to see the light coming up over the horizon. I wasn't sure I was going to be able to make it through this week of camping. My fear had overtaken me. After two restless nights, the third night I slept soundly due to exhaustion. It was growing on me, but after 5 days of sharing my bathroom with all of nature, I was ready for indoor plumbing and a shower!
Over our many years of marriage, we have gone on numerous camping trips. David finally relented and got me a portable potty, for the times when there were no bathrooms. We also started staying in some campgrounds. When my oldest was 3, we bought a pop up camper and continued our camping adventures both in the wilderness and sometimes in a somewhat civilized campsite. When we moved to Texas, we sold our camper and decided that maybe that part of our life was over. Then guess what happened? We won a big tent at a company party and the adventures began again. Down here I have new critters to worry about. Snakes. Wild Hogs. Weird bugs that look like they are from another world. Fire Ants. And yes, still bears.
I really don't have much fear when I go camping now. Somewhere along the line my fears abated and I learned to relax and enjoy just being out with the family. Oh, there are still things that like to sneak up on me and try to instill fear in me again, but I would say that overall, my fear has been conquered.
So how did that happen? How did I get over my fear and learn to enjoy camping? How did I learn to sleep at night and not lie awake imagining every terrible thing that could happen? In part, it was sheer exhaustion. After so many camping trips with very little sleep, I realized that camping was much more enjoyable when I had slept better. I also began to focus on the fun part of camping...being outdoors, staring at the stars at night, sitting around a campfire telling stories or singing songs, enjoying the long walks and hikes and just breathing in the beauty around me. Of course, I can't forget the important things either, like SMORES! (Can we call it camping if there aren't any smores?) Yeah, I can still list all of the things about camping that I don't like--that's easy--but that keeps my focus on what is wrong and not what is right.
Lest you think this is simply a lesson on "the power of positive thinking", let me reassure you it is not. I've shared with you some of my camping fears, but I have had many other fears to deal with in my life. So do you. What are your fears? Why are they fears? Are they real or imagined? Is it reasonable to think we can conquer our fear? Where does fear come from? Hmmmm.....let's think on that and tackle this again next week with a new post. Until next week, ponder, ponder, ponder.....
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